Day 20

Today, we discussed changing the way we think. The problem doesn't lie in my thought processes, but my actions and how I interpret my thoughts. People don't change. I know what I enjoy and that's not something I have any control over. I can control my attitude and behavior. My attitude has never been the problem. I suppose I'm not a typical alcoholic, though. No one is lording above me and forcing me to go sober. I'm not angry without it. This is an action of free will. I'm wonderful to be around when I'm sober. The problem is when I drink into excess. I understand that I can't control my drinking after I start, which I believe defines me as an alcoholic. The goal here is to change my behavior, not my thoughts. I will always think children are gross, I will always love blue eyes, and I will always want to drink. Is this going to make me tell my friends they have ugly children? No. Is this going to make me only date blue-eyed men? No. Does this mean I can't stop drinking? Absolutely not. My thoughts aren't the problem. It's how I act on them.