Day 11

I'm so pround of myself, day 11. One of the roommates drinks every day and still offers me a glass of wine every day when I get home. She has great taste in wine, and yet I still resist. I have completed a few drawings and put them on my wall, not that I didn't draw while I was drinking, but I never got around to coloring or shading. I'd get bored about halfway through and give up. I'd put them up anyways, but it looks sloppy. I also attempted to learn how to juggle, but it was far too mindless to kill time with. I got good with two balls, but that's as much effort as I'm willing to get into. Over the last couple days I've embarked on a Doctor Who marathon. I'm about half a season in and a little bored with that as well. It's like I need to relearn how to live. When I'm wasted I can be entertained by basically anything, clarity kinda sucks.

Day 3

I am a little shaky still, but I managed to keep down a yogurt today. I kinda wanted to throw up all day at work, but I really can't miss any more days. I anticipate tomorrow being a little better still. Maybe, at least I'm hoping so, feeling will return to my toe. In order to pass time in the evenings I've taken up juggling. I'm still ridiculously terrible at it, but it is much safer than the drinking.I'm thinking next paycheck I will pick up another silly hobbie. Perhaps tie-dye or maybe screen printing. The latter sounds ridiculously expensive, though, so it may wait a while. Maybe I could start out slow with stencils and spray paint. Or maybe I could do something as equally unpreductive as the drinking and pick up some sort of gaming console. That's like a normal person thing, right?

Day 2

I tried to kill myself. No, I wasn't intentionally trying to die, but somehow I lost all self control. About 4 shots of tequila, 14 varied beers(mostly the stronger winters), and and entire bottle of wine. I don't know why. I just had to. I don't know if I can get better, they say addiction is forever. All I know is that right now I have a sinking feeling. All I can do is try. I can't promise any success, but for now I have today.